The Stitch Went Nuts...

OK hive, I have a confession to make.  Remember when I told you all about my lofty goal to sew all the napkins and escort flowers for the wedding?  I left out an integral piece of information.  I don't know how to sew.  I didn't think it would be a big deal.  Hey, I taught myself how to knit.  I'm in a profession where I'm supposed to be good with my hands.  Sewing would be a piece of cake, right?

Eh, not so much.

It started out innocently enough.  I began to sew an escort flower by hand, as per the tutorial.  I finished with something that didn't look too bad.  Then I looked at the clock.  Just putting a simple running stitch in one flower took 45 minutes, and I still had to sew the pin and button in the middle.  Sewing fail.

No problem, though.  I figured I'd try to up my ego and sew a few napkins.  I wasn't quite sure how to do this, but my grandmother had a sewing machine sitting in my room at her house that I could experiment with.  The next time I went over there, I attempted to give it a go.  How hard could it be?  I mean, the instructions to thread the machine were located on it.  However, I underestimated my ability to read Ikea-esque instructions on a faded sticker.  Sewing machine: 1 Miss Biscuit: 0.

Yes, it really looked like this.

But it wasn't over yet.  My parents had just bought a new sewing machine, and since it was already threaded, I figured attempting to sew a napkin wouldn't be too hard.  Clearly, I underestimated the Husqvarna from hell, mocking me from my parents' basement.

I don't quite know how, but extremely bad things happened as I tried to sew.  The bobbin got tangled, the straight stitch looked like a 5 year old sewed it, and I somehow created a divot in my fingernail.

But I wasn't going to let the Viking win.  The next day, I was determined to sew a napkin.  I actually spent the time to read the instruction manual--a novel idea, I know.  I also looked at a tutorial for how to sew a napkin.  Apparently, there's an iron involved.  Who would have thought?  And I finally did it.  I made six napkins.

Sure, I still have 294 napkins to sew, but now that I actually know how to sew them, I can devote my time and effort into efficiently making them.  Someday, if I get a good system going, I'll post a tutorial.

Anyone have any major DIY fails?