Going With Your Gut

Hive, I wasn't going to write this post because I was afraid it was a wee bit too personal for blog land.  But, you know what, wedding planning isn't always a happy sunshine land that rains candy canes and I think it's an important thing to realize.  I had always heard there would be one big family fight during wedding planning, but I always thought I would escape it.  And until we were six weeks out, I managed to stroll along without conflict.  But then it happened: The Biscuit Flower Event.

You may remember way back when,  I had an initial meeting with my florist who was friends with my grandmother.  We wrote up a makeshift quote, and she was pretty rude and less than helpful.  She definitely put me off, and I was told to come back when I actually knew what I wanted flower wise.  That was easier said than done, as I know next to nothing about flowers.  Remember my brown thumb?

So, I eventually found proper inspiration--at about six weeks out--and came back to the florist with my grandmother.  The first thing the florist said as we walked in the door was "Oh, I didn't realize you were still getting married since I never heard back from you."  Uh, you told me not to come back until I actually knew what I wanted.  We had a quote written up, and since she didn't have a contract, I (incorrectly) assumed that was enough.  She then said that she was on vacation that week, but maybe the girls downstairs could handle it.  My mood began to drop.

And the meeting went downhill from there.  From name dropping other brides who "didn't get married" (or who found a nicer florist) while looking for my initial quote to insinuating that I had found a new groom ("are you still marrying Mr. Biscuit?") to making me feel stupid for having seven bridesmaids ("my niece has a lot of friends too, but she only had four bridesmaids") the meeting started to leave a very bad taste in my mouth.

When I showed her a picture of the flowers I wanted she asked what they were.  Isn't that her job?  To know what flowers look like?  She then claimed that the bouquet for bridesmaids would be $200 a pop and didn't offer any alternative flowers that would give me a similar look.  By the end of the meeting, I was fuming and could barely speak a word.  I was told to write down the flowers I wanted and to give her a call.

After telling my mother about the issue, she decided enough was enough and it was time to find a new florist.  Instead of my grandmother defending me, she claimed the florist was "being realistic" and was not happy with my decision to find someone knew.  And you know what?  Maybe the florist was being realistic about my options, but she darn well sure could have been more helpful.

So there I was.  Six weeks out, with no florist.  I had no idea what to do.  Until I realized that my venue was having a bridal show the next day.  It was serendipity.  While at the show, I met with a florist who works with my event rental company and my photographer.  And he was free July 30th.  Score.

After meeting with him, I realized that I should have gone with my gut a long time ago.  I showed him my inspiration, and he actually knew what flowers were on the page.  He also knew what he could substitute in order to make my *gasp* seven bridesmaids' bouquets affordable.  So far, I am extremely impressed with him.  Seriously, best florist ever.

In the end, it seems to have all worked out, but for a couple of days, all was not well in the House of Biscuit.  Luckily, my grandmother is not mad that I'm not using her friend anymore (and really, how could I?  She's on vacation that week), but I do still feel a little guilty because I know I disappointed her.  However, at the same time, I knew from the initial meeting that our personalities did not mesh, and I had been worrying about my flowers ever since.  I feel extremely lucky that I wasn't locked into a contract and could switch florists midstream.

Did anyone else let a vendor go close to their day?  Anyone follow their gut from the start?

Thank You Rules

I'll be the first to admit it: I'm not that great at Thank You notes.  As a child, we had a special Hallmark program to make cards on our computer and the most commonly used one had a turtle on it:

It's not that I wasn't grateful for my gifts.  I guess I'm kind of a procrastinator.  OK, that's a lie.  I'm the Procrastinator.  I'll formally claim my title--someday.

But I know wedding thank you's are something I can not put off.  I know that I get anxious when I don't hear back from a bride within a month or two of the wedding.  I often wonder, "Did they get their gifts?  Did they hate them?  Were they kidnapped by giant monkeys in top hats while on the honeymoon?"  Legitimate stuff.

I'm also worried about being seen as the bride who snubs if I put it off for too long.  Two years ago, my family went to a wedding for my mother's friend's daughter.  Yeah, say that three times fast.  We gave the couple a card and cash and never received a thank you note.  My mother was worried we didn't give enough money and the couple felt snubbed or that someone stole the card.  I'm going to say that maybe the bride wasn't exactly versed in the laws of etiquette and didn't send out Thank You notes.  Any way you slice it, we don't exactly have a flattering view of that couple anymore.

So, in an effort to minimize the number of guests who find me an uncouth, I have set some simple ground rules for myself as our wedding guests come trickling in:

1.) Write a Thank You note as soon as I receive a gift.

2.) Do not use aforementioned gift (or cash any checks) until two day after the note has been mailed to allow it to reach the generous party.

So far, it's been working out pretty well.  I have my first batch of notes--for my shower and the first round of wedding gifts--going out tomorrow and I have not used any gift yet even though I'm itching to.  Hopefully, I'll be able to keep this up after the wedding as well.

How did you make sure all of your notes got out in a timely manner?

How To Have a Successful Bachelorette Party

Note: Some of these pictures may not be considered safe for work!

Here's my 10 step plan to ensure a ton of fun during your bachelorette party!

Step 1: Have a super fun shower at your parents' beforehand.

I was lucky enough to have a nice small shower planned by my awesome mother and sister right before my friends and I went up to Pittsburgh to get our bachelorette on.  The highlights were the games my sister chose: one was trivia about me and one was trivia about British sayings.  No toilet paper in sight.  A+ Sister Biscuit.

Step 2: Begin the evening with cookies shaped like a certain part of the male anatomy.

My friends baked delicious cookies for me!  My favorite was the one that was--erm--missing half of part of the cookie and had "Livestrong" iced onto it.  Oh, and the cookie they made of Mr. Biscuit.  It was the first to go.

Step 3: Have 2 sashes.

One lit up, and one was smaller and prettier.  Unfortunately, the one that lit up stopped lighting after we hit it twice, so I kept the pink one on.

Step 4: Decide it is too early for dinner, and drink a pitcher of Sangria first.

Yum!

Step 5: Eat at a lovely German brewery.  Make sure to drink beer, take ski shots, and dance on the chairs.

 

Step 6: Go to another awesome bar.  Accept free shot from bartender, drink a double IPA, and meet another bachelorette friend and her companion.

Step 7: Go dancing at a bar with no cover that only plays "house music."  Make sure there are only 5 very weird looking people there awkwardly standing on the dance floor.

I don't have pictures after this point, but I can show you a reenactment:

Step 8: Fall and cause some carnage.

What good is a bachelorette party if you don't have a gnarly scar?  I know some of you get sick when you see gore, so I chose to add an artist's rendition of the event.

Step 9: Wake up feeling very sick and cursing yourself for mixing drinks.  Go to brunch.  Get sick outside of restaurant, in BM A's car, and on your parents' lawn.

Step 10: Sleep the rest of the day, while your disapproving mother shakes her head as she always does if you have more than one drink.

How was your bachelorette party?  Anybody have an embarrassing incident the day after?  Any carnage?

An Open Letter to My Wedding Guests

 Dear potential guests,
Our RSVP deadline has came and went.  So far, we have 158 yeas, about 10-12 nays, and close to 140 that have not responded.  I know some of those are nos, but I'm still waiting to hear from about 100 people give or take.

I was very benevolent when I began planning.  I decided I would invite all the people so no one was left out.  Because of this, I chose the larger (but not as pretty or sunny) ballroom at my venue.  It was a sacrifice I was willing to make so that I could have all of my loved ones (not just the first 250) join us.

It's like the census, guys.  Fill it out, mail it back.  The return address is already on there.  No extra writing necessary.  If I can't implore you to do so with my words, just consider the following warning:

Love,
Miss Biscuit

Were your RSVPs slow to come in?  Do you think I should pursue the other venue since it looks like I'm going to be under 250?

Awkward Moments of Wedding Planning

Hive, I'm about to have my bridal shower.  I'm pretty excited, as it should be a good time.

My grandmother was kind enough to deposit some money in my checking account as my shower gift.  Side note--any one else think this is kinda funny?  Because she is showering me with money--so, technically making it rain?  OK, maybe that's just me.

Anywho, she gave me the deposit slip and then said that she wanted me to buy something "personal" with it.  I was so excited that I had free reign to spend it on something other than something for the wedding.  Then I realized that she may have meant:

instead of

And then the awkward turtle came to hang out with us before I quickly made my exit.

image via areyouaniceguy.com

Anyone else have an awkward moment during planning?

Register? But I hardly know 'er!

Mr. Biscuit and I registered very early in the planning process.  Like, last June early.  I know, I know, I was jumping the gun a bit, but I was bored and spending way too much time in front of my computer while I was supposed to be studying for my boards.

After that deed was done, Mr. Biscuit and I started thinking.  Did we really need a registry?  Mr. B has lived on his own for years and can cook (yay!) so he has pretty much everything he would need for the kitchen.  I like to bake and don't really have the supplies for it; however, Mr. B's oven is a glorified heating coil that I can't bake in as I've been sufficiently spoiled by my parents' professional grade oven, and we also don't really have room for a ton of stuff as Mr. Biscuit's house is about 1000 sq. feet.  Sure, after I graduate we may move into a larger house, but until then, it would be kind of close quarters.  And I don't really like the idea of having close quarters with a pastry cutter.  That's creepy.

To be perfectly honest, we could really use a little help on mortgage payments over a new pot or pan.  But, uh, it would probably be considered a wee bit crude to register for cash.

So, we decided the easiest thing to do was to register for nothing.  But I had already made a completely superfluous registery at Tiffany & Co while daydreaming about having Christmas breakfast using my Tiffany Holiday collection pitcher that showed up in registry searches.  What were we to do? 

Well, we eventually concluded that we would register, but only at stores we wanted things from.  We honestly have no need right now for anything from Target or Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and were afraid that if we registered for anything there, we would be inundated with gift cards.  And the last time I checked, gift cards were not useful currency when trying to pay a mortgage.

In addition to the frivolous, already finished Tiffany registry, we added a registry to Williams-Sonoma (where I made sure to include MANY low priced baking accessories), Pottery Barn, and Anthropologie (in the form of a wish list).  Yes, we made quite a few registries, but our guest list is over 300 and we didn't register for that many things at any one store, so I felt it was appropriate.

None of these stores are actually in my hometown, but most of my guests are traveling to the wedding--and ordering online or driving up to Pittsburgh is pretty simple. I also thought that maybe people would, you know, take the hint that maybe we were a little cash poor but not appliance poor when they saw that we really didn't register for that many things.

As soon as people discovered where we had registered, I received a LOT of flak.  The conversations usually went a bit like this (though I didn't say what I actually thought):

But so far, I have kept my tact and stood with my guns.  I refuse to register somewhere where I don't actually need stuff.  I also refuse to say, "Um, if you want to give us something, a check would be sweet."  I finally added a little tagline to our Registries page at our website which is hard to read, but basically says we registered for things that we needed plus some upgrades, since we were lucky enough to not need much.  Oh, and it delineated me as the baker and Mr. Biscuit as the cook.

It served a dual purpose, to explain why we didn't register anywhere in town, and to show that I was not the one who registered for the $200 knife (yes, that's singular).  I truly hope that knife is in some way magical.  And named Wally.

Emily Post may be rolling over in her grave, but to be perfectly frank, I don't care.  We don't expect gifts from our guests, but if they clicked the registry page, they were either:
a.) wanting to buy us a gift that we wanted and needed
b.) wanting to look at our registry and be a Judgey McJudgerson.

So, we were either not offending someone or offending someone who was already looking to be offended.  I can live with that. 

How did you deal with registry woes?

You're Invited...

to the Biscuit wedding!  Our invitations are out, and aside for a few in transit--including one that may have been eaten by Germany customs, everyone has them.

So without further ado, see what I've been doing (and accept my apologies for the lapses in blogging while I was trying to get them out).  Some of these pics were taken with an iPhone, so I'm sorry for the poor quality.

Here some of them are, ready to go:

The envelopes were made out of fabric, and the addresses were iron on transfers.  I forgot to take an up close picture of the finished envelope, but (un)luckily one was sent back to us, so you can get a better idea of what they looked like and how they held up in the mail.

Sad returned envelope :(

Upon opening the envelope, everyone was presented with this:

It's a fabric covered booklet!  I bought a custom stamp and embossed what I have dubbed our monogram onto the front, and tied the booklet together with ribbon.

Once my guests opened the booklet, they were greeted with my invite!  I stitched the booklet together to make it look like an actual book.

The actual invite

 The reception info (including removable directions printed on the same paper)

 Accommodation info (which is no longer applicable, thanks to our hotel being sold out)

Our reply card page and envelope.  It was originally going to be a postcard, but was perforated for dimensions that were too small to make it through the mail.  So I bought some black 4 bar envelopes from Paper Source.  This wasn't the brightest idea, however, because then I needed to write out everyone's return address in white pen (because who has a white pen just laying around?).  I know there were other ways around it, but I thought it was cute and was too lazy to actually print out labels. 

So there you have it.  My labor of hate.  I wouldn't call it a labor of love because by the time the majority of these 145 invitations were finished I was about ready to chuck them out the window.  In the interest of full disclosure, I still have about five or so that I need to send out, but they are for guests who cannot make it (or guests who my family sprung on me at the last second).

I also want to give a big thank you to my childhood friend, Meghan.  She works for (and her Dad owns) a printing company in town and she helped me so much with my design!  It was originally not in high enough resolution, so there was quite a bit of work that needed done.  Thank you Meghan!

How did you feel when your invitations were finally done?